The strangest thing happened this morning. I was on my way to the post office, when this little boy — all pink cheeks and brown chub — pulled down his pants and took a crap in the street. Right there. I don't want to tell you, but I will anyway, that the crap was white. Also odd was that his mother was standing there, kind of standing guard, the way girls watch out for each other when they take a piss in a public park. And I'm wondering: What is this woman watching for? Wasn't there a better place to do this — like, say, an alley? And the kid is just smiling and squatting, happy as hell, because you know what four year old boys want to do, possibly more than anything? They want to pull their pants down and take a crap in the street.

My favorite Spanish word is “cosquilloso.” Koss-kee-yo-so.

Means “ticklish.”

My second favorite Spanish word is “por supuesto.”

Means “of course.”

Cosquilloso, por supuesto. Cosquilloso, por supuesto. Feels good, doesn't it?

Sometimes, when I sit down to write, this is the kind of stuff that comes out.