Yesterday I cut my finger open trying to slice bread. The stupid loaf was stale anyway, stale and crusty and tough to slice, and I was just being stubborn trying to wring more bread out of that sucker. I sliced diagonally across my left index finger, not quite to the bone but close. The worst part is that I'm such a freak about blood (my blood) that I go clammy and gray and I feel like I'm going to throw up and my roommate has to walk me over to the couch till there's color back in my face and really, it's more drama than I wanted in my gardenburger.

I am a new contributing writer at The Morning News, which today features Halloween stories from their crew, including a piece I wrote about my Halloween anxiety. Veddy Skeddddy.