Gloria in excelsis

A few months ago I was sitting in a Barnes & Noble bookstore reading a book by Gloria Steinem when a gentleman expressed his enthusiasm for the female species by masturbating right beside me. A few weeks later I was reading a book on Marilyn Monroe written by Gloria Steinem when I learned that Whitney Houston had died. Careful readers might wonder: What is up with all the Gloria Steinem? For one, Gloria Steinem is just cool, and I aspire to be more like her, evidenced by my recent purchase of aviator glasses. For another, I have been working on a piece for the New York Times about the woman and her legacy. It runs today.