Eyelash extensions are all the rage here in Dallas, so I got them for my column in D magazine, and like most things, they were wonderful and horrible. I’d only had them for a few days when I filed the story, but they stuck around for a month, and I learned quite a bit that I didn’t get to include in that piece (which you can read here). For instance:
1. People often asked if I could feel my fake eyelashes, but I could not. Except I could feel them when the wind blew very hard. They would start tugging me around, like wind sails.
2. Sometimes they hit my sunglasses, which freaked me out. And once, when I was doing a downward dog in yoga, I swear they scraped the mat.
3. I was very comfortable telling everyone about my fake eyelashes. Do you like my extensions? Do you want to touch them? But I discovered other women were secretive about theirs, apparently sensitive about the fact that their massive eyelashes weren’t God-given. I found this a little confusing, as if I we were all trying to convince someone that our feet just naturally had three-inch points on the end, but whatever.
4. I kept wondering what would happen when I cried, and then when I finally did cry, I kept running to the bathroom to stare at my eyelashes – which clumped up into four wet and messy points – and it stung a tiny bit and also distracted me from the crying. So that was good.
5. When all my eyelashes finally fell out, my eyes looked normal again. New lashes had grown in. It was like nothing had ever happened. I was glad to have my old eyes back. But I do miss those glamour lashes. They were pretty great.