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Greetings, and welcome to If you’ve come to this site, you are probably curious about me, or the phenomenon of public crying, and so we thank you.  I’ve been on hiatus for a while now, but emails to central command suggest people have questions, which I will attempt to answer.

What is a Sarah Hepola?

A Sarah Hepola is a short, curious creature who stands approximately 5’2” in the wild (5’6” in urban environments, where she insists on wearing wedge heels). She has been known to write stories about things that happened to her.

What can I do about this?

Nothing. People have tried.

Where has she been?

I’ve been working on a book, called “Blackout,” which will be published by Grand Central in June 2015. The process of writing a book (as you may know from Charlie Kaufman movies) is a tortured, exciting journey, full of lonely hours, despair, and cheese enchiladas. I made the decision to unlatch myself from the distraction machines of the Internet during this time, but I recently turned in a draft to my editor, which presented me with a small window of opportunity for blog posting and obsessive scrap-booking. I should be officially done writing the book by the end of summer, which means these next weeks are critical. Creatively speaking, this is the moment in the movie where the stoner guy turns to you in the VW bus and says, “Dude, let’s make this the BEST SUMMER EVER.” Much work to be done, amigos.

That’s nice, but umm, how I get my story published on Salon?

You can email me a full draft of your personal essay, pasted in the body of the email, at Do not use my personal email, because it will make me cranky.

Anything else?

Last week, Julie and I saw the Richard Linklater film “Boyhood,” which knocked us both out. I have never seen a film like it, and the story will stay with me for some time. There is so much else to discuss, but it will have to wait. It’s mid-July, and you know what that means. Dudes, we gotta make this the BEST SUMMER EVER.