Sarah Hepola

2018

The New Frontier of Fertility Tests — for Young Women
Possibilities open for women torn between career, love, and their own biology — but how far can we push our bodies? (Harper’s Bazaar)

Why Every Woman Should Take a Solo Road Trip 
Freedom and solitude on the road to West Texas (Texas Highways)

Blackouts Aren’t Funny or Impressive. They’re an Epidemic. 
A letter to men about excessive drinking (Men’s Health)
Kavanaugh and the Blackout Theory
It is both easy and common to drink, act, and then have no memory of it (New York Times)

The Strange Nextdoor Story About the Cat in the Trunk
The neighborly app that brings us together, and tears us apart (D Magazine)

The Extreme Alcoholism on ‘Sharp Objects’ Actually Doesn’t Go Far Enough
What Hollywood doesn’t understand about drinking problems (Cosmo)

How Whitney Wolfe Herd Is Changing the Dating Game
Bumble and the perils of online dating (Texas Monthly)

2017

Lonely on Valentine’s Day
A celebration of many different kinds of love (Fresh Air/NPR)

How Rwanda Became the Most Unlikely Tourism Destination in Africa
The unlikely story of Rwanda’s rise, plus: mountain gorillas (Bloomberg Businessweek)

I Could Get Married Here (But Didn’t)
That time in Mexico I thought my boyfriend was going to propose (New York Times)

2016

Ask a Former Drunk series, real talk from someone who’s been there (Jezebel):

What My Parents Really Think About My Addiction Memoir
An interview with my favorite subjects: Mom and Dad (Lit Hub)

The Alcohol Blackout
Long reported essay on the moral and legal intersection of booze and sexual assault (Texas Monthly)

Staying Sober for the Holidays
Someone’s gotta do it (Fresh Air/NPR)

When You Become the Person You Hate on the Internet
The world’s worst pop song and my Facebook faux pas (Fresh Air/NPR)

TV’s Quiet 12-Step Revolution
Depictions of people in recovery are actually getting better (Salon)

Sex Without Liquid Courage
How sex stopped being casual for me (Fresh Air/NPR)

This Is the Most Remote and Magical Hotel on Earth
The immaculate Fogo Island Inn (Bloomberg Businessweek)

Going Away without Ghosting
A better way to say you’re not interested (Fresh Air/NPR)

2015

My drinking years: Everyone has blackouts, don’t they?
Excerpt from Blackout (Guardian)

How Did I Get Home Last Night?
Excerpt from Blackout (Salon)

Are You an Alcoholic? 
Some thoughts on trying to answer that question (Buzzfeed)

I Used to Think Non-Drinkers Were a Buzzkill — Then I Sobered Up
Apologies from my former self (Harper’s Bazaar)

Everything’s Amazing, and Nobody’s Happy
A romantic near-miss with Louis CK. Boy this story did not age well. (The Morning News)

Tracking Pumas in Chile
The search for mountain lions in the hills of Patagonia (Bloomberg Businessweek)

2014

Why Does My Cat Lie on My Books?
Real journalists ask the tough questions (The Dodo)

2013

My Search for One Decent Dallas Man
Learning to love — well, learn from — online dating in your hometown (D Magazine)

A Good Angle Is Hard to Find
Thoughts on selfies (The Morning News)

A Supposedly Fun Thing I Will Probably Do Again
A fictional short story about falling for someone who might be Joseph Gordon-Leavitt (The Morning News)

Getting naked at King Spa 
How I learned to stop worrying and love Korean baths (D Magazine)

My failed juice cleanse
Why exactly does your digestion “need a break” again? (D Magazine)

2012

Watching a Spectacular Public Meltdown With Just a Hint of Jealousy
On Cat Marnell, an addict and writer on self-destruct mode (New York Times Magazine)

The Smart Blonde Manifesto
Growing up female in Dallas, and an introduction to a new column (D Magazine)

The Myth of Big Dallas Hair
I’m sick of outdated beauty stereotypes. Can you pass the hairspray, hon? (D Magazine)

Never Show Them Your Back
On the shame of having moles (Salon)

Wigs Are My Superhero Costume
Thoughts on glamour and hiding (Salon)

REO Speedwagon Will Save Us
The conundrum of loving terrible music (Salon)

Tiny Castles of Doom
What happens when an editor asks me to write about “bucket lists” (The Morning News)

Nobody Says I Love You Anymore
The girl who once hated Dallas … moves back (The Morning News)

Hit on the Head
A New Orleans love affair that began with a violent crime (Salon)

Nobody Ever Calls Me Anymore
A fan of old-fashioned telecommunication mourns the age of texting (Salon)

I Always Dated Tom Waits
On all those boozy, broken-hearted men I once loved (Salon)

Surprised to See Me
On the weird social interactions that happen after you lose weight (Salon)

My Fake Online Boyfriend
That time I was catfished. Or was I? (Salon)

Every Woman Should Travel Alone
Adventure, danger, and the education of the open road (Salon)

Whitney Houston’s Lessons in Love
Torch song for a fallen queen (Salon)

My Relapse Years
On the useful application of failure (Salon)

2011

Crushes on Strangers series, experiments in the micro-essay and ruminations on love with people you’ve never met (The Morning News)

When I Finally Stopped Going to Bars
After you stop drinking, what do you DO? (Salon)

My humiliating email disaster
That time I accidentally sent 900 people a fake movie ticket (Salon)

20 Things You Notice When You Quit Drinking
Going to restaurants when you’re sober is like dining with a half-off coupon (Glamour)

Here Is Everything I Learned in New York
Upon leaving the city that never sleeps (The Morning News)

Lush for Life
A long-time drinker finally comes clean (Salon)

2010

Cat on a Leash
Yes, I wrote a story about leash-training my cat. Actually I wrote two (Salon)

Swan Thong
Cosmo calls an end to the thong, and I speak to those affected most: Straight men (Salon)

2009

The Surprise Spanx Make-Out
It was hot. It was heavy. There was just one problem: I was wearing control-top undergarments (Salon)

2008

The Secret Journal of Levi Johnston
A fictional diary of a forgotten side character in a crazy American saga (The Morning News)

My Big, Fat, Unpaid Credit Card Bill
I used to be seriously in debt, and this wasn’t even the half of it (Salon)

It’ll End in Tears
I am an Olympic gold medalist in crying. Silver at least (Salon)

Stuck in My Head
On obsessive thinking and compulsive music listening (The Morning News)

2007

What it Means to Miss New Orleans
NOPD lieutenant on life during Katrina and what Hollywood gets wrong (The Morning News)

My Apartment
The disconnected and strangely intimate experience of New York living (The Morning News)

Busting Out
The gift and burden of having large breasts (Salon)

Carter
A eulogy for my friend and a great musician, Carter Albrecht (sarahhepola.com)

SXSW 2007: The Very First Review
A fictional satire of the music fest, wherein I continually joke about boning Chuck Klosterman (The Morning News)

Run for The Hills
Apparently I was very hooked on a reality show called The Hills? (The Morning News)

2006

Why I Shut Down My Blog
That time I tried to stop blathering online so I could write a book, not that it worked (Slate)

My SXSW Diary
Experimental journalism/comic fiction with a heaping helping of “I drank too much” humor (The Morning News)

Big in Finland
That time Conan O’Brien looked exactly like the president of Finland (The Morning News)

If I Can Make It There
On the improbable act of moving to New York City (The Morning News)

2005

Is He Cute of Is He British?
A question for the ages (The Morning News)

2004

The Education of Elisabeth Eckleman
I wrote a fictional choose-your-own adventure series, bless my heart (The Morning News)

Since She Died
On the passing of my college friend Anne (The Morning News)

This Year, It’s Going to Be Different
Disasters in dieting and New Year’s resolutions (The Morning News)

Slaughtered
That time I covered the memorial for Pantera guitarist Dimebag Darrell at his all-nude strip club (Dallas Observer)

2003

Her Favorite Class: “Sex” Education
On teen girls obsessed with “Sex and the City” (New York Times)

Thriller
A track-by-track personal reminiscence on the biggest album of the 20th century (The Morning News)

The Love That We Came to Know
When that actor from Xanadu came to town (The Morning News)

Certifiable
My brief, baffling career as a high school English teacher (The Morning News)

The Key to a Successful Freelance Career: A Diary
A silly comic riff, but my most popular story for many years (The Morning News)

To Tell You the Truth
On storytelling, an itch to lie, and my strange encounter with New York Times’ fabulist Jayson Blair (The Morning News)

My Father Speaks Another Language
Fictional attempts at complicated truths (The Morning News)

A Good Day to Be Alive
Conversation with the homeless guy outside the video store (The Morning News)

Starfucker
Confessions of a celebrity journalist (The Morning News)

A Game of Skill, Strategy, and Chance
Comic fiction about board games and falling in love (The Morning News)

How I Spent My Summer Vacation
My big-ass five month road trip around America (The Morning News)

To the Teen Beat of his Own Drummer
That time I got to interview “the other one” from Weird Science (The Morning News)

Where Are You Now?
On high school reunions and surprise make-outs (The Morning News)

Think Pink
The bizarre empowerment culture of Mary Kay Cosmetics (Dallas Observer)

“Lost Ark,” Resurrected
Three boys make a shot-for-shot remake of their favorite movie and earn a new fan — Steven Spielberg (Austin Chronicle)

2002 

Let Your Freak Flag Fly: Dragon-Con
I went to a comic book/gaming convention, and shit got weird (Austin Chronicle)

2001

The Sensational Saga of Mr. Sinus
Wherein we bond over bad movies and I make lifelong friends (Austin Chronicle)

Jesus Is Coming: The Video Mailed Across the State
Apparently I wrote a very long reported piece on Christian grassroots filmmaking (Austin Chronicle)

2000

A Fan’s Notes: Almost Famous
I might have been a little into Cameron Crowe (Austin Chronicle)

Telling War Stories
Drinking too much with Tim O’Brien (Austin Chronicle)

Party Girl, Interrupted
I went to a junket for this lousy Sandra Bullock movie and actually told the truth about it (Austin Chronicle)

1999

It All Goes Down At Prom
My very first cover story and a humdinger of an undercover assignment: infiltrate high school’s biggest night (Austin Chronicle)