I always longed to be somebody that was living in New York — a writer. That was my dream. And I think there are times in life when you realize that maybe your dream wasn’t the right dream for you.
By my early twenties I did have some idea of what my behaviour was like [in a blackout]. I know I tend to take my clothes off – and not in a sexy way, in a weird, uncomfortable exhibitionist way that makes people want to step away from me.
Barnes & Noble interview
I lived alone, in this funky little garage apartment, and I would get really drunk and write, kind of the way musicians get loaded and play their instruments. It feels good, this rhythmic motion. But you also want to find out if the substance allows you to access alternate dimensions, which is probably way too much credit that I’m giving to Yellow Tail Merlot.
It’s been a very interesting time, because we’ve had a conversation about consent that I have never seen before in my lifetime. I’m 40 years old, and during all these years that I’m getting wasted to the point of blackout, I cannot remember — and I’m not saying this never happened, but I cannot remember — a friend, a person around me, or anyone saying, “Were you too drunk to consent to this?”
I think with women, we’re so accustomed to being like, ‘You are awesome. You are great. Everything you do is perfect, don’t listen to the world.’ You’re always trying to lift each other up, but where’s the part that’s like, ‘You know, you could do better on this’?
For so many decades there were all these really obnoxious social norms around women and drinking. Men had entry into places where women were not allowed. The first woman to drink at McSorley’s was in, like, 1970. That’s not that long ago! You’re given so many messages: You need to be polite, you need to sit like this. There was always this part of me that wanted to give that the double barrel flip off.
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