Archived Essays

2026

Cuddlebug: A personal history of my crushes

The boys I loved are a carbon-dating system (Love Anyway)

Love Anyway: A Substack, a Manifesto

Going deep on the world's greatest unsolved mystery (Love Anyway)

Lyda Hill, the dynamic woman quietly shaping modern Dallas

She plans to give away her fortune in her lifetime. That might take a while. (Dallas Morning News)

Dak Prescott, a hero for a city that needs one

The Cowboys quarterback is as nice as he seems (Dallas Morning News)

Inside the VIP World Cup experience at ‘Dallas Stadium’

A once-democratic sport turns into a series of high-dollar luxuries (Dallas Morning News)

‘America’s Sweethearts’ and the fame trap of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders

On the Netflix show's compelling third season (Dallas Morning News)

2025

Dallas true-crime great Skip Hollandsworth and a mystery that refuses to be solved

On the Texas Monthly giant (Dallas Morning News)

Morton Meyerson stares down the end of his life, and the modern Dallas he helped build

The brilliant mind behind Ross Perot's EDS is worried about what comes next (Dallas Morning News)

I made an AI chatbot boyfriend for laughs, but my heart got broken anyway

A cautionary tale (Dallas Morning News)

2024

Country musician Joshua Ray Walker on fighting cancer – and rallying back

The Dallas performer stared down his own mortality and lived to tell the tale (Dallas Morning News)

What ‘Cheer’ Led To: How Viral Fame Upended Monica Aldama’s Life

How the Netflix star fought back against instant stardom (Texas Monthly)

Rhett Miller and the Old 97’s took Dallas stories and made them American classics

How the sad boy became the wise rock star (Dallas Morning News)

Exile and friendship bracelets at the Taylor Swift fan convention in Dallas

How I almost got kicked out of the pop star's celebration (Dallas Morning News)

Dallas is a city of characters. Let me introduce them and myself

On taking a gig at the local daily (Dallas Morning News)

2023

Yeehaw, Beach! How the “Coastal Cowgirl” Aesthetic Took Over Texas

The style that says "I'm down to party, but not till I pick these wildflowers" (Texas Monthly)

Galveston Is a Tourist Hot Spot Once Again

The historic island is experiencing a renaissance (Texas Monthly)

2022

The Agony and the Ecstasy of Depp v. Heard

On the (latest) trial of the century (Smoke Em if You Got Em)

On Not Being a Mother

I assumed children were a birth right, until I did not. (Smoke Em if You Got Em)

Sex, Scandal, and Sisterhood: Fifty Years of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders

The long tangled saga of the iconic cheerleaders (Texas Monthly)

The Things I’m Afraid to Write About

What happens when a writer mutes herself? (The Atlantic)

The Impossible Year

Confessions of a lucky but miserable person (SH.com)

2021

Pick-Me-Up

The agony and the ecstasy of driving a truck in Texas (Texas Highways)

Lights, Camera, Corsicana

An argument for small towns, and the story behind the placed that birthed Netflix's Cheer (Texas Highways)

We All Live in Uncertain Now

Explain why Netflix hasn't optioned a docu-series about Uncertain, TX, why why (Texas Highways)

2020

Writer Sarah Hepola Roams Her House During Quarantine

Behold the bravest trip I ever took: Around my own room (Texas Highways)

What Was NorthPark Mall Like Last Weekend? (pandemic report)

The Dallas mall is a ship of memories. Was I saying hello or goodbye? (D Magazine)

What the Pandemic Taught Me About Old-Fashioned Romance

I got on Hinge a few weeks into quarantine, and it was weird (Texas Monthly)

What Do We Really Know About Bonnie and Clyde

The infamous outlaw couple came from Dallas, and nobody mentioned it? (Texas Highways)

Brene Brown Profile Whose Headline I Disliked

I never cracked Brene Brown, but she's a fascinating character (Texas Monthly)

Such Great Heights

The argument for rock-climbing in West Texas, even if you suck at it (Texas Highways)

My Plastic Surgery Dilemma

(misleading title misses the gravity/tone, but I had no better suggestions) I have a few thoughts on aging, beauty, and Dallas (Texas Highways)

2019

Find the Stuff You Never Knew You Needed at First Monday Trade Days

Thoughts on flea markets and acquisition as symbolic of the American dream (Texas Highways)

Parking in Dallas Is the Worst, and I Have the Dings Scrapes to Prove It

Wherein I hit someone's SUV while singing along to Crowded House's "Don't Dream It's Over" (Dallas Morning News)

2018

The New Frontier of Fertility Tests – for Young Women

Possibilities open for women torn between career, love, and their own biology - but how far can we push our bodies? (Harper's Bazaar)

Why Every Woman Should Take a Solo Road Trip

Freedom and solitude on the road to West Texas (Texas Highways)

Blackouts Aren’t Funny or Impressive. They’re an Epidemic.

A letter to men about excessive drinking (Men's Health)

Kavanaugh and the Blackout Theory

It is both easy and common to drink, act, and then have no memory of it (New York Times)

The Strange Nextdoor Story About the Cat in the Trunk

The neighborly app that brings us together, and tears us apart (D Magazine)

The Extreme Alcoholism on ‘Sharp Objects’ Actually Doesn’t Go Far Enough

What Hollywood doesn't understand about drinking problems (Cosmo)

How Whitney Wolfe Herd Is Changing the Dating Game

Bumble and the perils of online dating (Texas Monthly)

2017

Lonely on Valentine’s Day

A celebration of many different kinds of love (Fresh Air/NPR)

How Rwanda Became the Most Unlikely Tourism Destination in Africa

The unlikely story of Rwanda's rise, plus: mountain gorillas (Bloomberg Businessweek)

I Could Get Married Here (But Didn’t)

That time in Mexico I thought my boyfriend was going to propose (New York Times)

2016

What My Parents Really Think About My Addiction Memoir

An interview with my favorite subjects: Mom and Dad (Lit Hub)

The Alcohol Blackout

Long reported essay on the moral and legal intersection of booze and sexual assault (Texas Monthly)

Staying Sober for the Holidays

Someone's gotta do it (Fresh Air/NPR)

When You Become the Person You Hate on the Internet

The world's worst pop song and my Facebook faux pas (Fresh Air/NPR)

TV’s Quiet 12-Step Revolution

Depictions of people in recovery are actually getting better (Salon)

Sex Without Liquid Courage

How sex stopped being casual for me (Fresh Air/NPR)

This Is the Most Remote and Magical Hotel on Earth

The immaculate Fogo Island Inn (Bloomberg Businessweek)

Going Away without Ghosting

A better way to say you're not interested (Fresh Air/NPR)

When do you know you have a problem?

Ask a Former Drunk series (Jezebel)

How do I keep sobriety from being the thing that defines me?

Ask a Former Drunk series (Jezebel)

How the hell am I going to stand being around my friends when I’m sober?

Ask a Former Drunk series (Jezebel)

It’s time to talk about alcohol and sex

Ask a Former Drunk series (Jezebel)

How do I start sobriety?

Ask a Former Drunk series (Jezebel)

2015

Why Does My Cat Lie on My Books?

Real journalists ask the tough questions (The Dodo)

My drinking years: Everyone has blackouts, don’t they?

Excerpt from Blackout (Guardian)

How Did I Get Home Last Night?

Excerpt from Blackout (Salon)

Are You an Alcoholic?

Some thoughts on trying to answer that question (Buzzfeed)

I Used to Think Non-Drinkers Were a Buzzkill – Then I Sobered Up

Apologies from my former self (Harper's Bazaar)

Everything’s Amazing, and Nobody’s Happy

A romantic near-miss with Louis CK. Boy, this story did not age well. (The Morning News)

Tracking Pumas in Chile

The search for mountain lions in the hills of Patagonia (Bloomberg Businessweek)

2014

Why Does My Cat Lie on My Books?

Real journalists ask the tough questions (The Dodo)

2013

My Search for One Decent Dallas Man

Learning to love - well, learn from - online dating in your hometown (D Magazine)

A Good Angle Is Hard to Find

Thoughts on selfies (The Morning News)

A Supposedly Fun Thing I Will Probably Do Again

A fictional short story about falling for someone who might be Joseph Gordon-Levitt (The Morning News)

Getting naked at King Spa

How I learned to stop worrying and love Korean baths (D Magazine)

My failed juice cleanse

Why exactly does your digestion "need a break" again? (D Magazine)

2012

Watching a Spectacular Public Meltdown With Just a Hint of Jealousy

On Cat Marnell, an addict and writer on self-destruct mode (New York Times Magazine)

The Smart Blonde Manifesto

Growing up girl in Dallas, and an introduction to a new column (D Magazine)

The Myth of Big Dallas Hair

I'm sick of outdated beauty stereotypes. Can you pass the hairspray, hon? (D Magazine)

Never Show Them Your Back

On the shame of having moles (Salon)

Wigs Are My Superhero Costume

Thoughts on glamour and hiding (Salon)

REO Speedwagon Will Save Us

The conundrum of loving terrible music (Salon)

Tiny Castles of Doom

What happens when an editor asks me to write about "bucket lists" (The Morning News)

Nobody Says I Love You Anymore

The girl who once hated Dallas ... moves back (The Morning News)

Hit on the Head

A New Orleans love affair that began with a violent crime (Salon)

Nobody Ever Calls Me Anymore

A fan of old-fashioned telecommunication mourns the age of texting (Salon)

I Always Dated Tom Waits

On all those boozy, broken-hearted men I once loved (Salon)

Surprised to See Me

On the weird social interactions that happen after you lose weight (Salon)

My Fake Online Boyfriend

That time I was catfished. Or was I? (Salon)

Every Woman Should Travel Alone

Adventure, danger, and the education of the open road (Salon)

Whitney Houston’s Lessons in Love

Torch song for a fallen queen (Salon)

My Relapse Years

On the useful application of failure (Salon)

2011

When I Finally Stopped Going to Bars

After you stop drinking, what do you DO? (Salon)

My humiliating email disaster

That time I accidentally sent 900 people a fake movie ticket (Salon)

20 Things You Notice When You Quit Drinking

Going to restaurants when you're sober is like dining with a half-off coupon (Glamour)

Here Is Everything I Learned in New York

Upon leaving the city that never sleeps (The Morning News)

Lush for Life

A long-time drinker finally comes clean (Salon)

The Barista

Crushes on Strangers series (The Morning News)

The Talk Show Host

Crushes on Strangers series (The Morning News)

A Short Taxonomy of My Crushes

Crushes on Strangers series (The Morning News)

Safely, From a Distance

Crushes on Strangers series (The Morning News)

Nice Ignoring You

Crushes on Strangers series (The Morning News)

In My Back Pocket, With the Maps

Crushes on Strangers series (The Morning News)

The Man of Action

Crushes on Strangers series (The Morning News)

My New Resolution

Crushes on Strangers series (The Morning News)

Yeah, You Know Him

Crushes on Strangers series (The Morning News)

The Married Man

Crushes on Strangers series (The Morning News)

The Contradiction

Crushes on Strangers series (The Morning News)

That Girl

Crushes on Strangers series (The Morning News)

2010

Swan Thong

Cosmo calls an end to the thong, and I speak to those affected most: Straight men (Salon)

Cat on a Leash

Yes, I wrote a story about leash-training my cat. Actually I wrote two (Salon)

Swan Thong

Cosmo calls an end to the thong, and I speak to those affected most: Straight men (Salon)

2009

The Surprise Spanx Make-Out

It was hot. It was heavy. There was just one problem: I was wearing control-top undergarments (Salon)

2008

The Secret Journal of Levi Johnston

A fictional diary of a forgotten side character in a crazy American saga (The Morning News)

My Big, Fat, Unpaid Credit Card Bill

I used to be seriously in debt, and this wasn't even the half of it (Salon)

It’ll End in Tears

I am an Olympic gold medalist in crying. Silver at least (Salon)

Stuck in My Head

On obsessive thinking and compulsive music listening (The Morning News)

2007

What it Means to Miss New Orleans

NOPD lieutenant on life during Katrina and what Hollywood gets wrong (The Morning News)

My Apartment

The disconnected and strangely intimate experience of New York living (The Morning News)

Busting Out

The gift and burden of having large breasts (Salon)

Carter

A eulogy for my friend and a great musician, Carter Albrecht (sarahhepola.com)

SXSW 2007: The Very First Review

A fictional satire of the music fest, wherein I continually joke about boning Chuck Klosterman (The Morning News)

Run for The Hills

Apparently I was very hooked on a reality show called The Hills? (The Morning News)

2006

Why I Shut Down My Blog

That time I tried to stop blathering online so I could write a book, not that it worked (Slate)

My SXSW Diary

Experimental journalism/comic fiction with a heaping helping of "I drank too much" humor (The Morning News)

Big in Finland

That time Conan O'Brien looked exactly like the president of Finland (The Morning News)

If I Can Make It There

On the improbable act of moving to New York City (The Morning News)

2005

Is He Cute or Is He British?

A question for the ages (The Morning News)

2004

The Education of Elisabeth Eckleman

I wrote a fictional choose-your-own adventure series, bless my heart (The Morning News)

Since She Died

On the passing of my college friend Anne (The Morning News)

This Year, It’s Going to Be Different

Disasters in dieting and New Year's resolutions (The Morning News)

Slaughtered

That time I covered the memorial for Pantera guitarist Dimebag Darrell at his all-nude strip club (Dallas Observer)

2003

Her Favorite Class: “Sex” Education

On teen girls obsessed with "Sex and the City" (New York Times)

Thriller

A track-by-track personal reminiscence on the biggest album of the 20th century (The Morning News)

The Love That We Came to Know

When that actor from Xanadu came to town (The Morning News)

Certifiable

My brief, baffling career as a high school English teacher (The Morning News)

The Key to a Successful Freelance Career: A Diary

A silly comic riff, but my most popular story for many years (The Morning News)

To Tell You the Truth

On storytelling, an itch to lie, and my strange encounter with New York Times' fabulist Jayson Blair (The Morning News)

My Father Speaks Another Language

Fictional attempts at complicated truths (The Morning News)

A Good Day to Be Alive

Conversation with the homeless guy outside the video store (The Morning News)

Starfucker

Confessions of a celebrity journalist (The Morning News)

A Game of Skill, Strategy, and Chance

Comic fiction about board games and falling in love (The Morning News)

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

My big-ass five month road trip around America (The Morning News)

To the Teen Beat of his Own Drummer

That time I got to interview "the other one" from Weird Science (The Morning News)

Where Are You Now?

On high school reunions and surprise make-outs (The Morning News)

Think Pink

The bizarre empowerment culture of Mary Kay Cosmetics (Dallas Observer)

“Lost Ark,” Resurrected

Three boys make a shot-for-shot remake of their favorite movie and earn a new fan - Steven Spielberg (Austin Chronicle)

2002

Let Your Freak Flag Fly: Dragon-Con

I went to a comic book/gaming convention, and shit got weird (Austin Chronicle)

2001

The Sensational Saga of Mr. Sinus

Wherein we bond over bad movies and I make lifelong friends (Austin Chronicle)

Jesus Is Coming: The Video Mailed Across the State

Apparently I wrote a very long reported piece on Christian grassroots filmmaking (Austin Chronicle)

2000

A Fan’s Notes: Almost Famous

I might have been a little into Cameron Crowe (Austin Chronicle)

Telling War Stories

Drinking too much with Tim O'Brien (Austin Chronicle)

Party Girl, Interrupted

I went to a junket for this lousy Sandra Bullock movie and actually told the truth about it (Austin Chronicle)

1999

It All Goes Down At Prom

My very first cover story and a humdinger of an undercover assignment: infiltrate high school's biggest night (Austin Chronicle)